Wesley wants to invite me to his birthday party. It's two doors down from my mansion in Glasgow but I am NOT leaving my bed. The last time I was outdoors I was in Paris with no food, no contacts, but most importantly no jewelry. I was all alone and scared until I broke into Mr. Gaudet's apartment (I found out that guy's name after the police stormed in) and went online and asked what I should do. Caroline said I should call my butler. That worked perfectly. But that was terribly traumatic.

I will not go to Wesley's party. He is terribly disappointed, I know, but I suppose he will be fine eventually. I'm not going anywhere for I am afraid that if I leave my mansion I will next end up in...Mississippi! Those Mississippians are much too difficult to understand. So no, I will not attend Wesley's party.

Wait...maybe he could have it here! Yes, he can have it here!!! In the cellar, of course. His guests will be okay at his house watching a video or something. Not enough room in my cellar for all of them. Wesley can put up decorations in the cellar, he can bring food, it'll be great! Just as long as he cleans up afterwards.

I am so brilliant! I will call him right now!

You might consider going to Mississippi, I hear they have a powerful figure there that's just as, or maybe even more famous than you are! They call him "Elvis." As your consiglieri I suggest we check out the competition, maybe bring back some souvenirs... It will not be a vacation... honest...